Pornography & Pop Culture: Pushing the Limits, Sexualizing Youth

I recently came across Cosmopolitan’s 2010 Sex Survey, which reported that 36% of women use pornography as a “sex enhancer”.  In another Cosmo article, the magazine essentially begs its readers to explore the many “benefits” of pornography.  One standout paragraph said:

“While one must be aware of the dangers of porn addiction, [pornography] can be used as a healthy tool to stimulate one’s sex life. Caution: much of the material out there isn’t for the fainthearted. But then, Cosmo chicas don’t really need that warning, do they?”

While statistics vary wildly regarding the actual percentage of men, women and children viewing pornography, the theme is consistent: pornography use has become normalized in our culture.  Porn stars are now mainstream icons; little girls wear the Playboy bunny with pride on their t-shirts; our music industry continues to push the limits of “sexual expression” to the point that today’s music videos resemble the “soft-core” pornography of yesteryear; and, as author Gail Dines describes in her new book, Pornland, shows like ‘Girls Gone Wild’ (GGW) have positioned themselves “not as a porn product, but rather as hot, sexy fun that pushes the envelope of mainstream pop culture.”

The accessibility to soft-core pornography, “user-generated” pornography, and T.V. shows like GGW and Girls Next Door, has filled a gap for the pornography Industry where, as Dines explains, “in the place of scripted and carefully crafted scenes of hard-core porn” viewers witness ‘real’ women creating porn and engaging in porn-inspired acts as a “sexy” part of a normal woman’s everyday life.  Using ‘real’ women in pornography “socialized users to believe that everyday women are sexually available” and experimental, and continues to make most visible the sense that a young woman’s identity is one that emphasizes her as “a sexual being at the exclusion of anything else”.  As Dines continues, the pornography industry has worked carefully and strategically to “sanitize its products by stripping away the ‘dirt’ factor and reconstituting porn as fun, edgy, chic, sexy and hot.”

Unfortunately, once a user scrapes beyond the soft-core surface of the pornography industry, they will dive into the “anything goes” world of hardcore pornography, filled with fetish, violence, bestiality, genital torture, barely legal content and group ‘gang-bangs’.  In one analysis of fifty best selling adult titles, half of the 304 scenes surveyed showed extreme verbal aggression and over 88% included extreme physical aggression.   I took a quick look at this year’s Adult Video Network (AVN) award categories, which include: “Best Orgy/Gangbang Release”, “Best Young Girl Release”, “Best Squirting Release” (female ejaculation), and “Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene” (which must include sex scenes between four or more women).  The titles of last year’s winners in these categories are too graphic for me to include.

Some of you may be quick to tell me that pornography is fantasy, and sensible adults can distinguish the difference.  Unfortunately, the pornography ‘fantasy’ is spilling over into almost every corner of our culture–pushing powerful messages about human sexuality, sexual relationships, women’s bodies, sexual expectation, sexual norms, and how men and women should relate.  A recent study about the Social Cots of Pornography(SCoP) suggests there is empirical evidence that “pornography today is qualitatively different from any that has gone before in its ubiquity, the use of increasingly realistic, streaming images and the increasingly ‘hard-core’ character of what is consumed”.

The study continued to explain that the peculiar nature of Internet pornography makes addiction more likely, and that today’s consumption of pornography can harm women and children in particular, adding that “modern trends in pornography consumption and production, sexualized media, sex crime, online sexual predators, Internet dating services, and sexualized cyber-bullying, have created a world more sexually disorienting, daunting and aggressive than every before” where our children are exposed to pornographic and sexual content at earlier and earlier ages in developmentally damaging ways.  Is it any wonder that our children are creating self-produced child pornography?  Is it any wonder that schools cancel dances for fear their tweens and teens will “hook-up” on the dance floor?

Unfortunately, our children,our young boys and girl, are not safe from the impact of the pornification of our culture.  They have free and easy access to pornography via the web, and habituation to pornographic imagery predisposes our adolescents to engage in sexually risky behavior.  One study found a strong association between pornography consumption and engaging in oral and anal sexual intercourse among adolescents.

The pornography ‘fantasy’ has had real-life implications on our adult society and on our children.  Sensible adults-doctors, lawyers, and pastors-have lost their families, professions and life to hard-core pornography use.  Our tweens and teens do not know how to relate to one another sexually in positive, supportive, safe and healthy ways. We live in a culture where pop princesses dance in sexified versions of Candy Land with doughnut-covered breasts; where 17-year old teen celebrities are celebrated for openly talking about masturbation and pornography use.  Our pop culture and pornography culture have pushed the limits to the point of breaking.  Our future generation’s sexual and relational stability are at stake, and no child is immune to being impacted by the floodtide of these messages.

Fortunately, you can make a difference.

Please fight back against the misguided, pornified sexual messages pervasive in our culture by setting a strong example for the children under your care.  Protect them from accessing this harmful content online and via mobile devices to the best of your ability by using Internet Safety 101 Rules ‘N Tools® as they grow and develop. And please consider contacting your Congressman to tell them you want our existing obscenity laws enforced.

As Internet Safety 101 featured expert and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Jill Manning highlights in our Internet Safety 101 teaching series, “healthy sexuality includes many things: boundaries, self-care; how do we take good care of our bodies, our minds and our spirits?  How do we develop self-respect and respect for other people?  How do we communicate in a loving and constructive way with one another.  We need to step out of this limited box that the sex talk is a one-time event.  That day is gone… We need to decide whose voice is going to win out… the pornography industry’s voice or our voice.”

Will you take a stand with us?


  1. S&R Kames

    If pornography helps enhance couple’s sex lives than how come my partner and I have a better sex life than the other couples around us that do use porn?………..In fact the other women keep saying that they wish they had husbands like mine. My Husband always tells other men that he holds a feminist viewpoint, and he has no problems with hearing the backlash he gets back from saying that….instead he spreads awareness, and we both adore and love eachother…right now he is telling me to change the word “sex” to “love” in the beginning of my comment hahahahahah

  2. Cris,

    The post was alarming to read. The access children have to the internet and how that shapes their worldview is increasing important in this digital age. Children’s connection to the internet gets stronger with the invention of each new mobile device and security parameters are desperately needed to moderate children’s online behavior. Your online tool kit is a great resource for advice on how talk to children about internet safety.

    I’m curious as to your thoughts on safe social networking for children given your experience with this subject.


    • Thanks for your comment Chris, and thank you too for the kind words about our Internet Safety 101 tool kit. We do hope that parents, educators, mentors and grandparents find the program helpful as they engage with the children under their care in our digital age. When it comes to social networking, we believe that social networking sites can be valuable social and educational spaces for our children to learn, create, self-express and connect, but it’s important for parents to be involved and aware of how their children are using the site. Sites like Togetherville and Club Penguin can be good places for younger children to get their feet wet virtually with little opportunity for them to access online dangers. Obviously, sites like Facebook are really only appropriate for older teens and should only be utilized with parent supervision. Kids should only be connected with people that they know and trust in the offline world, and parents need to establish clear guidelines for what is appropriate and what is not appropriate for their kids to post, send, etc. We have a few more tips here: and also in our Rules ‘N Tools section of the site:

      • Cris,

        Thank you for your reply. I’m glad to hear you’re of the belief that social networking sites can be valuable social educational tools. I absolutely agree that kids should only be connected with people that they know and trust and parents need to establish clear guidelines for what is appropriate and what is not appropriate for their kids to post, send.

        Given your reference of particular sites that foster this type of learning I would be interested to hear your feedback on the site http://www.WhatsWhat.Me.

        This site was created out of genuine concern to protect children from danger online while teaching them to become responsible digital citizens. WhatsWhat.Me is a safe, secure, “kids-only” social network for “tweens” ages 7-13 which uses patent-pending facial recognition technology, moderation and kid-friendly features to teach kids positive online behavior, Internet safety and related life skills.

        Thank you again for your reply!


  3. nickrubin

    I love this article! One of the first I have found that really reflects my personal views on the world! Being 14, this is an issue which I am really trying to work on in my life. The children of my generation are going to have a lot of problems on their hands, the environment, the economy, and with this inappropriate pop culture, tv, music, music videos – it is teaching the solvers of the future all the wrong views about money, sex, drugs, you name it. I believe that we can use the internet as a tool to inspire, discuss, and create the solvers of the future. You should check out my blog sometime! My full ’cause’ is on the cause page on the menu bar.


  1. Young people’s views about sexual content online |

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: